No, I hate pina coladas
Yes, it's taken me 27 years to realize this, but the couple in "The Pina Colada Song" probably didn't make it in the long run.
Think about it. Both were clearly unhappy. He calls her his old lady, never a good sign. Both were so willing to get away from the other that they placed personal ads. Both were so ready to cheat they arranged a rendezvous after one, count them, ONE personal ad.
Sure they laughed after they realized they knew each other. They may have even gone out and made love at midnight in the dunes at the Cape after getting caught in the rain. Eventually, though, the mistrust was going to grow and they'd be scanning the personal ads again.
A mutual love of fruity drinks isn't enough to base a relationship on.
Think about it. Both were clearly unhappy. He calls her his old lady, never a good sign. Both were so willing to get away from the other that they placed personal ads. Both were so ready to cheat they arranged a rendezvous after one, count them, ONE personal ad.
Sure they laughed after they realized they knew each other. They may have even gone out and made love at midnight in the dunes at the Cape after getting caught in the rain. Eventually, though, the mistrust was going to grow and they'd be scanning the personal ads again.
A mutual love of fruity drinks isn't enough to base a relationship on.
posted by T.C. at 11:35 AM
1 Comments:
Here's another relationship that's probably doomed: Popeye & Olive Oyle.
I really don't know why he puts up with that woman (yes, I know, any woman who can bend at the waist like Miss Oyle is probably a hell of a ride when you go for a roll in zee spinach, but come on, even that gets old & soggy after a while.)
But think about it. Episode after episode, Popeye and Olive have a nice thing going on, kind of a pleasant, easy-going relationship where both of their needs are being met. Popeye's feeling manly, and Olive's feeling self-actualized. But then, there's trouble in Paradise over some trivial issue, and she gets all pissy...
And right about then, ol' Brutus/Bluto happens to come by and gives her some fake talk that makes her feel empowered, and she gets all hot & bothered over him, and BAM! Olive (the skank,) she's in the sack with Brutus/Bluto, squealing like Miss Piggy gettin' froggy wit' it.
But we know every time it ends badly.
Brutus/Bluto's got a lot of anger management issues and eventually he starts treating his lady quite badly, so of course Olive goes running back to Popeye crying out, "oh Popeye, save me, save me!" or some lame whining like that.
And of course, every time, he takes her back and ends up getting pounded pretty hard rescuing her until he snorts some of that "spinach" as he likes to call it.
Popeye's biggest sin is that he keeps breaking the Number One Golden Rule Of Manhood, which states in relevant part:
"Bros before hoes. Girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there."
My advise to Mr. Popeye would be this: tell Olive Olye that he isn't going to be her bee-yatch anymore, and that if she wants to hang with The Sailorman, she needs to understand that, although Brutus/Bluto is "exciting," he's never gonna be good to her. Great sex don't last, bud good cookin' does.
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