8 Things I picked up on my cruise to the Carribean

1. A cold.
2. The constant feeling of the earth lurching under my feet, even though I'm back on solid earth.
3. Overpriced T-shirts.
4. Conch shells directly off the beach of Grand Turks.
5. A persistent ringing in my left ear.
6. No women.
7. The deep desire not to see "My Cousin Vinny," the only thing playing on the onboard TVs, ever again.

But it was worth it.